


fingerprints on promises

by orphan_account



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-20
Updated: 2008-08-20
Packaged: 2017-10-11 08:42:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people lie less than others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fingerprints on promises

There had always been an element of dishonesty about Asher. But wasn't just the cheating, or that he'd used Jenny to hide who he was. If Asher had been honest to Eric, Eric could have forgiven him. But Asher hadn't even been a good friend during their time together, never mind a good boyfriend. That was probably what hurt the most.

"You're not going to make empty promises," he said softly, staring at the ceiling. He was cold. An icy breeze cut through the room from the open window, so he pulled the covers up over his stomach.

Chuck was smoking a joint, graceful and deadly. He made it look good, even though it was a filthy habit. Eric didn't like it when Chuck smoked in bed, but he never complained. Chuck had a point: if Eric didn't like it, he could leave.

"What would I make you a promise about?" Chuck asked.

"Asher did," Eric said.

Chuck reached over and rubbed his hand over Eric's collarbone in a gesture that was supposed to be comforting, but only turned out sexy when he swiped his fingers further down and over Eric's nipples. "Why are you still thinking about that asshole?"

Eric bit his lip. "I used to like him."

"Despite the empty promises." As always Chuck hit the nail right on the head. He was good at that. He took another hit. "It's a bore, isn't it?" he went on. "What some people'll do to keep you hooked."

"It wasn't -"

"It was." Chuck's voice stood no contradiction. "Don't let declarations of love fool you. He used you, he disliked himself, you should just get over it and move on. This." He waved a hand between the two of them. "It's a first step, and good one, too. Next step: stop moping. He was a jerk and he made you promises to make you give him what he wanted."

"It was just - I thought." Eric sighed and let himself thump back onto the pillow. "He was all, 'Oh, during spring break, you can visit me in my family's estate in France, it's marvellous there!' but when spring break was a week away, he turned apologetic and couldn't make time, and when I asked him to meet my mother, he was all, 'Sure, when?', but he always found an excuse. Always had an excuse not to let me get close to him, too. It sucks, okay, when people dangle something in front of you to keep you racing like the stupid horse after the carrot."

Chuck reached over and put his hand on Eric's cheek, then leaned over and kissed his mouth open, puffing a breath of smoke into his lungs. Eric coughed, hitting his shoulder. "What the hell?"

Chuck kissed him again, with tongue this time. "Relax," he said. "God, you're wound up tighter than gammon." When Eric looked away from him, sullen, he sighed. "Don't. Look, I get it, it hurts. He was your first boyfriend, took your virginity, all that shit, but there's a world of jerks out there. If this one gets you down, you're never going to stand back up. So what's with the mood tonight, huh?"

"Nothing," Eric said, defensive.

"You never come for a fuck unless it's something," Chuck said, eyes softening. "C'mon, you can tell your big brother."

Eric glared. "You just had to put that one in, didn't you. God, you're a freak, you totally get off on the fact that this could be constructed as incest."

"No," Chuck said, almost regrettably. "Unfortunately, I can't fool myself quite that well. I do, however, have an open ear for your troubles tonight. So feel free to share." He took a last hit and put the joint into the glass on the nightstand by the bed. Smoking the shit always made him mellow, less hard, somehow. Eric had been wondering for a while now if this would be what Chuck'd be like if he hadn't grown up thinking his father hated him.

He guessed he'd never really know. And Chuck had himself under far better control than to let himself go completely, even under influence of drugs. Still, he was a good listener, always, and if there was one thing Eric knew, it was that while Chuck wouldn't hesitate to use anything other people told him for his battles, it was different with Eric. In this at least, he could pride himself, he was special. Chuck'd never use what Eric told him to hurt him. Not until Eric hurt him first. And Eric wasn't planning on doing that, ever.

"There was this guy," he admitted. "I was in the park. He was walking his dog, and - don't give me that look, he was nothing like Asher. We got talking, and he. He was cute, and we liked the same things, and he gave me his number, but then he..." he trailed off, trying not to sound stupid about this. He'd probably fail, he knew, because there was no refined way of saying it. "He was enthusiastic about us spending time together and - I didn't want to."

"Because he might use you, like Asher," Chuck deduced easily. "Of course he might. Or he might not."

"It's not worth to try again if it'll hurt again like with Asher, though." Eric looked away. "Most people are liars, you say so yourself. I just want someone honest."

"As flattered as I that makes me feel," Chuck touched his shoulder, "it's not like you'll know on first glance, ever. Just protect yourself better this time, and if all fails, just use him first. It'll make you feel better about yourself, in the long run if not in the short."

And that sounded suspiciously like Chuck was making over his life philosophy to Eric. Eric wasn't so sure he approved of that. As much as he liked Chuck, he didn't want to become him. He didn't want to be cold on the inside, never letting anyone close. But he was scared, too. Befriending people, growing to care for them - for him, it had ended in desaster more than once, even before Asher.

"I seem to attract liars," he sighed. "Either that, or people just love to take advantage where they can and don't care about others the way I want to be cared about."

Chuck gave him a shrug. "Don't be so morbid, I doubt it's personal. I really doubt you'd be the person to get picked on if a higher force decided to have some fun. You're no fun when you're down." He laid his head to the side and smiled wryly. "At least the sex was great."

"Thanks," Eric snorted.

"I'm not even going to ask why you put up with me if you feel like everyone's out to get you," Chuck rolled his eyes. "I'm not exactly the prime candidate for a lasting friendship."

Eric gave him a look. There was the drugs letting Chuck's insecurities surface. Eric decided to be frank about this, too.

"You don't put things in my head," he said. "I know where I stand with you. That counts for everything, Chuck. I don't invest hope that we'll work out because I know it's just a fuck for you. I don't invest more feelings than necessary because I know in a year, you'll be in college and I'll still be stuck here, and you'll find someone else - maybe Blair, maybe some other girl; and they might just make you happy. Or not. It's not like you promised me a vacation in Nantes, you know."

Chuck gave him a pat on the head and climbed out of bed. "You used to not be that wordy with me," he recounted, pacing towards the bathroom door. "Good times, that, when you came for a blowjob and left five minutes after."

"Shut up," Eric threw a pillow at him. "You asked. You always ask when you're high. Admit it, inside, you're just dying for the newest gossip about my life. If I didn't know better, I'd say you're Gossip Girl. You seem to know everything always, too."

Chuck just chuckled and closed the door behind him, turned on the water spray.

"I hate people," Eric muttered, but at least, he didn't feel quite as down anymore as when he'd gotten here. Maybe he'd call Philip after all, agree to the date. Not much that could happen on one date, and he'd be slower to get attached this time. He'd wait longer, see whether this boy would keep his promises; whether he was out, and okay with being gay, or if he was scared.

But right now, there was still Chuck. He got up, closed the window and slipped into the bathroom, stepping into the shower behind him.

"Done brooding?" Chuck asked, inviting him to merge their bodies together.

Eric slid his hands down his chest, rose on his toes to get a kiss. "Yeah," he said. "Not like I can change it all in one night, anyway. You're right, I should try again, slower, be more careful. Giving up's for losers."

Chuck smiled in agreement. He caught Eric's mouth, went with the aggressive kiss. It might have meant, 'anything you say', but Eric was never quite sure what Chuck thought. He'd never known it, and he wasn't going to attempt to figure it out now. They worked well, that was what counted. He never thought about asking for more. There was never a doubt in his mind that Chuck wouldn't be able to give.

 

~*~

 

_~~ written August 2008_


End file.
